A 65-Day Cruise

Somewhere around Oct 22 -- Singapore day, the halfway point -- I chatted with a young fellow named Surforaz, who worked in the shops on the Promenade Deck of the ship. In fact, he had an investment in these concessions, and was experiencing lousy business in the first half of this 65-day voyage.

Just prior to this “Grand Asia-Australia Tour” was the 4-month Alaska season, from May through September, a series of one-week cruises with a new batch of 1200 passengers each week, buying souvenirs and gifts and logo clothes at a brisk pace.

But now it was pretty much the same people week after week, elderly, very cruise-experienced and unexcitable, and frugal. Surforaz admitted that one can’t expect these folks to be buying shop stuff every day for 65 days, but it was worse than he expected.

A “Grand Voyage” was new to me also, but I was somewhat prepped for it by the 35-day Transatlantic trip in July, and this 65-day trip worked about the same way. Interested listeners mostly paced themselves, dropping in every few days or so. A few hard-core fans dropped in every night, got to know each other very well, and came to see each other as much as to see me.

I did my darnedest to keep the repertoire fresh, stretching and tweaking it. I got new mileage out of Walking At Midnight, How Sweet It Is, Love and Marriage, Alright OK You Win, Fun Fun Fun, Mr Sandman, Red Sails in the Sunset, Nature Boy, Tomorrow, Music Music Music, Come Fly With Me, Scotch and Soda, and for some strange reason Puff the Magic Dragon. I'm weary of certain tunes like New York New York and King of the Road after all these years and avoided doing them even when they would've worked well.

I'd never heard of a tune called Golden Earrings, but a middle-aged couple badgered me for weeks until I dug up the sheet music and learned it. And now I'm glad they badgered me, it's a terrific tune. Occasionally I slipped in Barbells in the Basement, an original tune that is consistently well received.

The most frequent compliment I get is “How Do You Remember All Those Lyrics?”, as if I’m doing a novelty memorization act, a stunt. The product is supposed to be popular well-written standards, with a no-frills piano-vocal delivery. And a spirited singalong wherever possible. But yeah OK, I know a ton of lyrics, and the trick is 5 x 8 index cards and 35+ years-worth of gigs.

The various open mic nights produced a few talents over the course of 65 days, but in total not as many as a Friday night in a Long Island restaurant. The most enjoyable was a bluegrass banjoist who also sang. Dueling Banjos became Banjo Dueling With a Yamaha Piano. He made five appearances, always ending with the Beverly Hillbillies Theme.

There were a dozen Name That Tune contests, where I played pieces of tunes and guests wrote down what they perceived to be the titles of the tunes. Some people wrote Kitten Up a Tree instead of Misty, Three Cheers for the Red White & Blue instead of Stars and Stripes Forever, Reverend Blue Gene instead of Forever in Blue Jeans, and of course When Will I Hold You Again instead of Weekend in New England, just to name a few. My favorite was When I’m Six Feet Four instead of When I’m Sixty-Four.

Holland America’s original intention was to sell either the full or half-cruises, so everyone would have to buy at least a 32-day cruise. It didn’t quite work out that way, as there were quite a few people getting on the ship in Hong Kong and getting off in Sydney, or getting on in Perth and getting off in Hawaii, etc. One woman got on in Sydney and rode the final 20 days to San Diego, for $2300 including plane fare. Not too shabby, considering that they had to fly her from California to Australia.

It’s a buyers market right now, and maybe the cruise industry will have to downsize a bit in the next few years, maybe put a few ships out of service. But they’re presently full-scheduled, and trying very hard to fill the ships to capacity. The next two years or so might be a good time to dicker for a deal, especially if one is flexible and can agree to a certain cruise only a week or two before departure. That's when they're desperate and ready to fill cabins at supercheap prices. The abovementioned lady used a travel agent, so she just bided her time until the agent called with a fantastic deal.

The ms Amsterdam now heads south to spend the winter months in South America, in two-week voyages, which should cheer up my shop worker friend. In the meantime, I type this on a laptop on a plane headed back for the East Coast, with a huge flood of memories and hopefully more interesting and uncharted waters to come.